Therapy Questions That Transform Relationships in Halifax: Therapy Questions We Love (Part 3)

As therapists, we often find that the most meaningful shifts in therapy happen not through advice, but through the right questions — the ones that invite reflection, curiosity, and clarity. This month, we’ve been reflecting on two of our favorite questions to ask when working with clients navigating relationships.

Whether you’re in a romantic partnership, managing friendships, or reflecting on your role in family or work relationships, these questions can help you pause and explore what’s working, what’s meaningful, and what might need attention.

If you’re exploring options for relationship counselling in Halifax or seeking therapeutic support for couples in Nova Scotia, these questions might offer a helpful starting point.

1. “What have you contributed to things going well?”

In therapy, we often focus on what’s not working — the challenges, the miscommunications, the emotional pain. But it’s just as important to explore what is going well, and how clients are actively contributing to that.

This question invites people to notice their own role in positive change.

“Sometimes it’s nice to have even just another session when things are going well, because you can really highlight the things that they’re doing, the skills, the values, the beliefs of their strengths that are helping them in their life to help things going well.” Jane Donovan, RCT, Halifax Therapist

Maybe it’s the way they’ve made an effort to listen more closely, or how they’ve shown patience in moments of tension. Perhaps they’ve taken steps to express appreciation more regularly or stepped back from habits that create conflict.

By identifying and naming these contributions, clients often feel empowered. They begin to see that progress isn’t just something that happens — it’s something they help create. For couples, this question can also offer a beautiful opportunity to hear and appreciate each other’s efforts, often for the first time.

“They might be aware of some of the things that they’re doing, but they’re not necessarily aware of what their partner’s doing. And so, it’s a good chance for them to hear each other talk about what they’re doing or what they’re noticing or maybe what they’re noticing about each other that’s been better and helpful.” Jane Donovan, RCT, Halifax Therapist

This kind of perspective is a core part of how we approach strength-based relationship therapy in Halifax — by helping individuals and couples recognize their own capacity for positive change.

2. “Do you like who you have to be in order to stay in this relationship?”

This second question is a powerful tool for self-reflection. It asks clients to consider whether the version of themselves that shows up in a relationship aligns with their values, identity, and sense of self.

“What I really like about [this question] is that it helps the client to explore their identity in the relationship. And is it authentic? Is it their preferred identity? Is it who they want to be?” Jules Smith, RCT, Halifax Therapist

Sometimes we adapt in relationships — we compromise, we grow, we adjust. But there’s value in checking in: Is this an identity I’m choosing, or one I feel pressured into?

This question helps uncover areas where emotional labor, power imbalances, or long-standing expectations may be shaping someone in ways that don’t feel authentic. It can lead to important conversations about boundaries, agency, and self-worth.

And it applies far beyond romantic relationships — it can be just as useful when thinking about friendships, work environments, and family dynamics.

“It can be a helpful to just take a step back and look at that dynamic and be like, is this working for me or is it not?” Jules Smith, RCT, Halifax Therapist

If you’re currently in therapy or considering individual relationship therapy in Halifax, this kind of question could help guide you in a meaningful direction.

Why These Questions Matter

Both of these questions do something important: they shine a light on how we show up in our relationships and what that means to us.

The first encourages acknowledgement and celebration of effort and growth.

The second fosters self-awareness and alignment with personal values.

In our practice, we often work with clients who are looking for support for healthy relationships in Halifax. These questions are just one of the many ways we help clients reflect on their experiences and move toward more conscious, fulfilling connections.

Ready to Explore These Questions in Therapy?

If you’re looking for relationship-focused therapy in Halifax — whether as an individual or a couple — we’re here to support you in building relationships that reflect your values and support your wellbeing.

We offer a compassionate, collaborative space for you to explore what matters most.

Ready to take the next step? Connect with us today for compassionate and professional mental health therapy in Halifax.